Mommy Guilt

It’s only 8:00 am and my heart is already half broken.  What more can I say?  I’m just being a mom.  It’s a rainy Thursday morning and I know all of us are asking for at least an extra 10 mins in bed.  But at 6, all of us has to be up.  The girls’ shower while I prepared pancakes and their lunches for school. Hubby takes care of the little guys since they are already running around and even crying for attention.  
Everything has to be in sync to be able for the girls and dad to be out of the house before 7:35.  Here comes the drama.  Eldest tries to play with the baby and takes about 25 mins to finish one pancake.  Then she stays in the bathroom to brush her teeth for another 20 (is she having her teeth professionally cleaned?)  With only 10 mins to go, she argues that she likes to wear that neon green headband which is totally not allowed in school.  My little “diva” then gives the “face”,  goes to the bedroom and starts choosing a book for her school reading as if today’s a holiday. 
Time check 7:38 am.  Just 12 minutes before the school bell rings. Did I mention that my second daughter is already screaming because she’ll be late.  Yes, that’s my kindergartener who seems to be the only one aside from me who has a sense of time.  So what’s a mom gotta do? “ARE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL OR NOT!” while holding her sneakers and giving a signal for her to sit down.  Then, I  tied her shoes in record time and literally, carried her out of the door. 
Now, that’s she’s out, I’m so miserable.  I feel like such a “mean” mom.  In an ideal world, chid rearing books say that mornings should be calm so that students will be calm in school.  Don’t want to be sarcastic but “yeah right”.  If I try to work at my 7 yr old “diva”‘s pace, she’ll start her day at 4 am just to be ready by 7:30. 
Sometimes, tough love is necessary.  I know my daughter’s feelings may have been hurt but she’ll never know whose feelings were hurt the most.
I love you my “little monkey”

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